“Our work isn’t as much about how others react to us, but about how we act towards them.” Bruce Schneider

I was headed north towards Marymount University in Arlington, VA. I had prepared a keynote presentation for student leaders assembled from four universities in the northern Virginia region. This was not my traditional audience of corporate professionals and I was out of my comfort zone. Right on cue, the voice of doubt made its presence known. You don’t have anything in common with them…why should they listen to you…what made you think you could pull this off, were thoughts cluttering my mind. In desperation, I called my twenty-two year old daughter, Taylor, certain she could offer advice about this particular audience. The coaching she offered was wise and fundamental. Just what I needed to hear.  

“Dad, be yourself. I’ve heard you speak. They’ll like you. Your message will work for them” were the comforting words Taylor provided. She unknowingly reminded me of the concept I refer to as The Generation Myth. With a Chicken Little mentality, we’re told of this complex phenomenon in which four generations are now working side-by-side in the workplace. Taylor’s advice was grounded in a fundamental truth. Although the audience was thirty years younger than me, they’re still people. Fostering the idea that there are great generational divides prevents us from engaging one another. Recalling our fundamental human connections helps to dispel the generation myth.

I’m not proposing that all generations are identical; there are subtle differences we’d be wise to recognize. What I am suggesting is that every generation is more similar than different. It makes sense to focus on the many commonalities we share rather than highlight the few differences. Here’s a look at a few areas where all generations connect:

• We want to be heard.
• We want to take part in meaningful work.
• We want to contribute and make a difference.
• We want to feel genuinely appreciated.
• We want to be recognized as a person rather than a “number” at work.
• We want to develop into our full potential.

Having four generations working side-by-side is not a new concept. No need to get all flustered up about it. Your best opportunity to engage others is not by highlighting what’s different. Instead, focus on what makes us similar—our core human values. That’s what I did at Marymount University. Afterwards, I received a thank you note from my contact, Anne Aichele, Director of Student Leadership. She wrote, “The students were engaged and truly enjoyed their interaction with you. I really believe you have a new target audience.” I was reminded, even with thirty years difference, we have more in common than not. Take the advice from Generation “Y” Taylor Schlentz: be yourself. That works best—no matter what your age.

Read. Enjoy.

I first met Chris Adams in 1984. We were roommates at the

Chris is a native of Durham, NC. He’s enjoyed a 25 year career in the hospitality industry with several brands including Sheraton, Omni, Fairfield, Hilton, Best Western, Comfort Inn, Hampton Inn, as well as several independent branded products. Chris has served in various community organizations including stints as a Board Member on the Greensboro Chamber of Commerce, Guilford Merchants Association, Workforce Development, Hayes Taylor YMCA, Win-Win Resolutions, Foster Friends of NC, Board of Visitors at Guilford College, Circle of Pride at Greensboro College, Guilford County Hotel Motel Association, and the High Point Convention and Visitors Bureau. He has a real heart and desire to help others fulfill their passion and purpose both personally and professionally with an upgraded mindset of focus, motivation, and action. There is a star in each of us and each has a responsibility to encourage, energize, and engage one another to bring it to the surface.

Click here to check out Chris on LinkedIn.

Developing the leaders necessary to guide our organizations into the future is critical. I recently had the chance to work beside some of those up-and-coming leaders. We gathered at

Marymount University is an independent, coeducational Catholic university offering bachelor’s, master’s, and doctoral degrees in a wide range of disciplines. Marymount is located in suburban Arlington, VA, minutes from Washington, DC. The university enrolls nearly 3,700 students, representing approximately 40 states and 70 countries. Our sponsor was The Virginia Association of School Personnel Administrators. VASPA helps personnel/human resources professionals improve their administrative skills and grow extensively in their profession. The Association seeks to promote the exchange of ideas, information, and practices, which keeps its members up-to-date in this rapidly changing field. The Keynote presentation was titled Leadership Fundamentals for Long-Term Success. Here’s a summary of our discussion:

1. Traits of a fundamental principle:

• Available to everyone
• Timeless
• Gets results

3. Make it personal

Action: Connect with your followers on a personal level.

• Build rapport, “Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest sound in any language.” Dale Carnegie
• Listen (ask questions) and understand
• Offer sincere praise and appreciation

4. Build Rapport

Action: Strengthen strategic relationships by building a foundation of rapport.

• Business is personal and you can’t engage by being impersonal.
• Don’t wait for others to build rapport with you. Initiate and build the relationship.
• Use effective listening and skillful questions to learn, understand, uncover, value others, show respect, and demonstrate humility.
• As a result you will gain loyalty, commitment, more solutions to problems in your area of operation, increased retention, and greater productivity/profitability.

What an honor to work beside this group of future leaders. They’re willing to do the work, and gain the skills, necessary for a successful professional career and that is admirable.

I had the pleasure of speaking with the

1. What is engagement? Engagement is the ability to capture people’s souls, hearts, and minds in order to instill an intrinsic passion for action and excellence.

2. Traits of a fundamental principle:

• Available to everyone
• Timeless
• Gets results

3. Make it personal

Action: Connect with your followers

• Build rapport, “Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest sound in any language.” Dale Carnegie
• Listen (ask questions) and understand
• Offer sincere praise and appreciation

4. Crave Feedback

Action: Ask questions

• On a scale of 1 – 10, how would you rate my leadership?
• Why did you give me that score?
• What would have to change for me to receive a 10?

5. Be Strength Focused

Action: Focus on and build people’s strengths

• Buy StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath.
• Become familiar with your dominant strength themes.
• Discover and nurture the strengths of those you lead.

What an honor to work beside this professional association committed to helping their members succeed. They’re leading the way by educating and growing within their profession. Nice work.

“If the point of life is the same as the point of a story, the point of life is character transformation.” Donald Miller

One skill I work on with presenters is how to handle challenging questions from the audience. So, it’s perplexing that a seemingly simple question has so often stumped me this past year. Since my wife’s death, it’s the question I’m most often asked. It’s never asked with malice—rather delivered with genuine care and concern. Yet I hesitate…stumble over my words, furrow my brow, ramble with lack of clarity, and generally feel uncomfortable with how to answer. Recent reading has helped me get a grip on what my real answer to this question should be.

The most challenging question since Ivy’s death has been, “How are you doing?” See, I told you this was puzzling. I’ve felt unusually disconnected between the response I’ve given and my true feelings. Perhaps part of the dilemma is how my internal ego voice tends to monitor and edit my response. It likes to interrupt my authentic voice with comments like, “What do you think they want to hear? Be sure you don’t make them feel uncomfortable.”

As a result, I’d often reply, “I’m starting to feel like my old self again.” In reality, this answer is a lie. Not an intentional lie, simply a lack of internal awareness and how to properly articulate it. You see, although I am feeling better, I’m not back to my old self. I can’t go back to being my old self—that’s impossible. From here on out, I’ll have a new answer to the question, “How are you doing?” One that is more accurate and authentic. “I’m changed.”

Tragedy, adventure, joy, and grief, are never intended to lead us back to our old self. Our life experiences have a greater objective—to radically change us and move us toward who we’re intended to be. Similar to the literature we love and the movies we pay a premium to watch, life is about character transformation. Our life story allows us to face our fears, overcome challenges, and forge internal qualities necessary to leave our legacy. Here’s to never going back—to moving forward—to personal change.

Leave your comments: How has a life experience helped change you?

Growth is good. Growth creates challenges. Mike and Melissa Edwards, owners of Window World Huntsville, understand that future business success is a result of maximizing the strengths of their people. Organizations which create strength based cultures foster higher levels of employee engagement. Businesses with more engaged employees outperform their competition. The equation is that simple. Yet it’s difficult to achieve and takes superior commitment to developing individuals and teams. Window World Huntsville is up to the challenge. They demonstrate their people commitment by investing in them. Here’s a glimpse of our learning and development module:

Discover, Embrace, and Utilize Your Strengths

• Through the use of StrengthsFinder 2.0, participants discover their top 5 strength themes
• Participants embrace their unique themes and receive feedback coaching from peers
• Finally, each candidate reflects on how they’re successfully utilizing these strengths in their current roles and determine what changes will help them become even more effective going forward

One thing is crystal clear; the future of Window World Huntsville is in good hands. I’m looking forward to what this group will accomplish through applying these learning tools and successfully maintaining their organization’s position as one of the top Window World stores in the country. Thanks for the honor of working beside you all.

What a pleasure to speak at the

1. What is engagement? Engagement is the ability to capture people’s souls, hearts, and minds instilling an intrinsic passion for action and excellence.

2. Traits of a fundamental principle:

• Available to everyone
• Timeless
• Gets results

3. Make it personal

Action: Connect with your followers

• Build rapport, “Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest sound in any language.” Dale Carnegie
• Listen (ask questions) and understand
• Offer sincere praise and appreciation

4. Crave Feedback

Action: Ask questions

• On a scale of 1 – 10, how would you rate my leadership?
• Why did you give me that score?
• What would have to change for me to receive a 10?

5. Be Strength Focused

Action: Focus on and build people’s strengths

• Buy StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath.
• Become familiar with your dominant strength themes.
• Discover and nurture the strengths of those you lead.

What an honor to participate in this first class learning/development event. NCHHRA is leading the way by educating and supporting their members. Nice work.

Satisfied patients are not good enough and

Module 1: Uncover the Essence of Loyalty

• Compare the behavioral differences between customers who are loyal or merely satisfied.
• Discuss specific experiences that convert people from satisfied to loyal.
• Create our very own Top 10 Loyalty Principles. These principles are designed to guide patient interactions and create loyalty experiences.

Module 2: Build Your Loyalty Chain

• Loyalty is the accumulation of a number of small encounters…which we call touchpoints
• Your patient experience includes the opportunities for such touchpoints. Each positive touch builds and strengthens the Loyalty Chain.
• The patient Loyalty Chain is made of up critical links. Your 5 links are:

1. Front Desk
2. Pre Op
3. Surgery/Procedure
4. Phase 1 Recovery
5. Phase 2/Discharge

Module 3: Strengthen Relationships by Building Rapport

• “Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest sound in any language.” Dale Carnegie.
• Listen (ask questions) and understand.
• Offer sincere praise and appreciation.

Can’t wait to see how this talented group applies our learning process within their workplace culture. It will provide the platform for patient loyalty and continued growth for years to come.

“Risk requires bleeding for our dreams.” Dan Allender, PhD

My daughter, Carley, was relaxing and watching a favorite show when I overheard it. The advertisement for a revolutionary new fitness product made its post new year debut. The zealous voice-over used descriptors like, “easy…only minutes a day…fun…amazing results.” This marketing strategy is timeless. Ever since Suzanne Somers showed us how to simultaneously smile, watch television, and sculpt our thighs, Americans have had a love affair with the illusion of infomercial promises. I’m wondering what this quest for achieving amazing results with painless ease says about our culture.  

I’ve recently completed the book, A Million Miles In A Thousand Years, by Donald Miller. His writing prods us to live our own epic story rather than seeking an escape through a Hollywood version. Yet Miller makes no promises of ease, simplicity, or fun. Rather, he candidly reminds us of the high cost, sometimes excessive pain, of living a life of risk and adventure. This caused me to consider people I respect—those who have inspired me to accept the inherent risk of a story worth living.  

• Chris and Kelly Avis were married in 1987. For the last twenty-six years they’ve raised five children who have not always followed the path prayed over them. They’ve built and lost businesses. They’ve worked harder than anyone I know to create and foster a close and committed marriage rarely found in today’s society.
• LaDonna Martin was twenty-four when her husband, a North Carolina Highway Patrolman was killed in a high speed chase. As a grieving widow, she leveraged her career as a Registered Nurse and returned to school. After several highly focused years, she obtained her Bachelors of Science in Nursing, a Master’s of Science in Nursing, and completed a nurse-anesthesia program to become a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist. She’s been a highly successful CRNA for over 20 years at a local trauma hospital.
• Emily Howard left the security of her state job in the 1990’s to follow a hunch that she might be good at selling and teaching Dale Carnegie programs. Her ensuing passage might best be described as a hair raising high speed rollercoaster. In September 2012 she fulfilled a dream and became the Dale Carnegie franchise owner of Central & Eastern North Carolina.

None of these people would describe their journey as easy, fun, or taking merely minutes a day. Much of their story they never anticipated. They could look you in the eyes and explain the pain, sacrifice, loneliness, frustration, and difficulty they encountered. They would tell you that their achievements have required more hours than they’ll ever be able to calculate. They might also share that their journeys have changed them forever and the results have been truly amazing. They’d surely use descriptors like meaningful, priceless, and life altering. There’s an engaging and epic novel you’re destined to write for your life. Good-bye ease. Hello life changing challenges. Hollywood has nothing on you.

Leave your comments: Tell us about an accomplishment you’re particularly proud of and how the experience has helped shape you.